Indifference can be tough. But it's important.
It helps you deal with criticism, and more importantly, it helps you get closer to your mission and vision, because you aren't impacted by what others think.
Today I want to show you how I was able to stop become indifferent about what others think — and how that has helped me accomplish more than ever before.
(Hint: You have to prioritize what matters.)
Not to long ago, at a readers request, I created a fitness video.
The day after, I posted it, I thought to myself, "Why did I do this? It's so dorky. It's downright awful."
And then I had a ah-ha moment...
It didn't matter.
It didn't matter that it was up there, it didn't matter what other people thought about it... it just didn't matter.
So I made a silly, embarrassing video & put it up on youtube, and I've helped people all around the world a chance to make fun of me. Big deal!!
It's not something to be that concerend about.
I helped someone out, and if people don't like it, or if it looks goofy, so what. It just doesn't matter.
That was the day I realized indeifference is a tool. Once I was able to let go of concerns about what others thought I was able to write with greater honesty and feeling.
Now I talk about the couple of Rules that guide my life (no matter how weird someone else might find them). It was a big lesson for me to understand that I must write in a way that repels some people in order to develop a greater attraction to the people that matter, like you. Using indifference as a tool was a watershed moment, because it allowed me to write articles like this for you.
"Why I Should Be a Failure"
I came across this story about young college graduates attending their ceremonies.
It's a very big day in their lives, and one that all started years ago when they made the big decision to invest (heavily) in their future.
That reminded me of a big decision I once made back in 2008, when I chose to do a 180 with my life and become a fitness professional.
That was followed by an even bigger decision in 2000 to commit my career and building a business around my new profession.
I knew that I wanted to help others and that it was something I was destined to do. I committed fully and completely, and I don't regret my decision for a second.
As you know, there are many times in our lives where we must finally make a big decision.To "fish or cut bait," as the old saying goes.
For example, most of us realize that we cannot trust big corporations or the government to protect our financial future, and that we must be proactive about it.
Whether we follow through or not is up to the aforementioned, it's up to us.
Of course, too many people reading this email will file this under the category of, "sounds good, maybe later" or worse, "sure, he can do it, but I can't".
But let me tell you, as a wellness expert who has spent the better part of five years in the world of body transformations, I've found that almost anything is possible.
Men and women of all ages, backgrounds, and "bad genetics" have overcome obstacles to lose 30 pounds, 50 pounds, or more.
What was the common attribute among them all?
A burning desire to succeed.
And in the past five and a half years since I began coaching other men and women, my observations have been the same.
It doesn't matter who you are, it doesn't matter how great the odds stacked against you, because if you have an indomitable will to succeed, a positive attitude, a never-quit disposition, and the ability to work hard at implementing proven systems, you can lose 100 pounds or build a $100K per year income.
Still, I know you might be clinging to the argument that there are just too many reasons you can't.
You can't. You can't. You can't.
Listen, let's settle this once and for all.
Do an exercise with me, will you?
I'm going to show you two sides of the coin... two sides that exist in everyone's minds.
These two sides of the coin influence our decisions and our beliefs about what we can and cannot do.
You'll see that each side of the coin clearly indicates your chances of success.
What matters you see, is which side of the coin you'll focus on.
Grab a piece of paper, and draw a line down the middle.
At the top of the left hand column, write "Adversity" — or if you want to honest, "Excuses". Or if you want to be brutally honest, "Why I Should Be a Failure."
Label the right-hand column, "Advantages."
Now let's get to work. Under "Adversity" (Excuses), write down everything that you believe is holding you back, and under "Advantages", write down everything you have going for you in your life that could contribute to your success.
I'll do this exercise with you, but I'm going to do it as if I was a 28 year old living in the year 2008, deciding whether or not I could succeed with what was at that time my whole life falling apart around me.
Here's what I wrote down.
I've held nothing back, and you can't either.
Why I Should Be a Failure
1) I'm getting divirced and have lost everything
2) My business partner screwed me over and kicked me out of the company I started and let him in on.
3) I got a DUI and with the previous mentions didn't have the funds or the emotional energy to want to deal with that too.
4) I was afraid to spend the little money I did have on myself. This cost me dearly in the early years of my career, when I was too pennywise and pound-foolish to invest in a mentor or coach. Makes me wonder what I missed out on because of my failure to invest wisely.
5) No technical savvy.
I didn't have a clue about running a wellness business, building a webpage, or setting anything up.
In fact, the more successful people I meet, the more I realize that the LESS you know about the technical aspect of a website business, the MORE successful you will be (Mark Zuckerberg excluded).
6) My final excuse was that "I had no time." (But who does?)
By 2010 I was working as a personal trainer from 5am to 9pm almost every day of the week (plus a half-day on Saturdays).
When I arrived home each night, my eyes were too glazed over to even attempt to sit in front of a computer and write.
So I did the only thing left to do, after 3 years of saying I was going to write more, I started taking less work once a week and scheduling that time to write.
Those were my excuses. Fortunately they were far outweighed by my advantages, or perhaps I was just too naive to pay attention to them.
1) Like you, I was willing to work hard.
2) I learned to create a time and energy management system where I would work on important projects when I was mentally alert and creative.
3) I could build connections. When you help others, people will help you. I discovered this early in my career, and have used this as the foundation of my success.
4) "Adversity" became the resistance that makes me stronger.
That's it. My Advantages are not exclusive to me, and hardly impossible for anyone to include.
So I'm sure you've made two equally strong lists.
Both with powerful reasons for success and failure.
Two sides of the coin.
Which one will you choose to focus on?
Your decision will make all the difference.
Let me leave you with this...
I've come across in my researching how mindset & overcoming resistance is one of the keys to success. It's a profound thought.
Dan Kennedy has said...
"The failure to act is much more often a product of inner, emotional resistance than external resistance. To move forward, you must give up your story, whether it is excuses about your childhood, lack of education, 'bad luck', your unsupportive family, or where you live."
Reading words like that is what brings me to say and decide to take a blowtorch to the adversity side of the coin. Tear that sheet in half and get rid of excuses forever.
"Write with honesty and feeling." - Ted Nicholas
After my recent trip to Europe I want to share a flamenco song with you. Go after your dreams with the same amount of intensity.
Track of the week - Flamenco Dance Scene From Movie Exils