7 Reasons Not To Lift Weights.

May 18, 2015


Today I just want to go on a rant, I'm in the mood to be funny so here you go.


1) Metabolism


Yeah, so what. who cares if weights can lead to better a metabolism, body image, and self-esteem, for starters. What a disaster that would be. Who want's a metabolism who is burning fat when there at rest?

The after burn effect or excess post-exercise oxygen consumption (EPOC) is a measurably increased rate of oxygen intake following strenuous activity intended to erase the body's "oxygen deficit."

This means increased metabolism after certain kinds of exercise, like resistance workouts. So,

obviously, stay away, because WHAT A DOWNER that would be.



2)  Less belly fat? NOT INTERESTED



Extra fat in the ol’ belly area means bad things for cardiovascular and health over all, aaaand some of us are belly-concerned for aesthetic reasons. Either way weight training means a healthier waist circumference. But, again, no one’s really worried about all that. We just want this bad ass portable drink holder ready at all times.



3) Feeling Confident, PsssHHH, That's overrated!


Everyone prefers to struggle through their bummer feelings about themselves, right?


4) Back pain, Isn't it the best?!


Improved back pain, which would lead to a better quality of life.

Weightlifting would make your backs stronger and less susceptible to pain.

If, for some reason, back sufferers want relief from their chronic pain, that is. But really I'm sure it's O.K.



5) Aging well, feeling great, healthy & in shape. Who comes up with these things!?!?


Who would want to lift groceries when they're older. Isn' that what grandkids are for? That would be as annoying as the computer voice that's reading in the video below.


6) What’s so great about being able to carry your own luggage, groceries, etc. Anyways?!

Not a damn thing, that’s what. Lifting weights till the point of failure means you’re building muscle, which means you’re getting stronger. The horror!



7) Stressing out about life's little anxieties is the best!


Day to day stress & anxiety keeps life exciting. That's why its important to avoid weight training. Weight trainings effect on positive mental health is very well known.


This is my Silly rant of the moment. Humor about to self destruct in 3.....2......1



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