Mindset, We talk a ton about it (i.e. the way you view the world) because it has the power to change your outcomes instantly. How you think really matters. It influences what you say, what you do and what you believe about your own abilities.
Just think if you've heard this... “I never stick to any workout regimen!” Is it any surprise when someone with this mindset quits every workout program?
If you're constantly saying, “I’m so busy, I have no time!” then, again, you can’t be surprised when you continue to have no time to exercise or time to do anything for yourself.
What you believe about your circumstances matter.
What you say, out loud, matters.
What you believe about your limitations matters.
This is a danger in labeling. This is a danger in self-categorization. If you catch yourself thinking/saying:
I suck at pull-ups.
I hate cardio.
I never stick it out with anything.
I would be successful if people in my life supported me more.
I can’t help that I have sucky genetics.
Can you see how these statements can become affirmations, which then become self-fulfilling prophecies? By continuing to hold on to them and identify with them, you are guaranteeing that they will remain true.
Personally, I've become more aware of my language than ever. I know the words that come out of my mouth impact my self-belief. I wasn't always like this. One day while listening to a podcast I was reminded that in order to know if something works; you must try it out. At that moment I committed to 30 days of becoming more aware of how I speak to within myself.
I spent many years not understanding that and just allowing my ingrained and unquestioned beliefs to flow out of my mouth: “I’m to smart to fall for that woo-woo stuff!” and “I don't need anyone to help me do anything,” and “I'm much smarter than most people!”
These kinds of unchecked and aggrandizing beliefs did me a huge disservice.
And it wasn’t until I started catching myself in the moment and turning them around that my outcomes started changing. Miraculously and over a few years, I stopped thinking about what I thought I knew, and began to read and listen more, my circle of influence began to change towards people I was learning more from. But I had to see that the alternative was possible first.
Because there’s a lot of wiggle room here for interpretation and perception.
Some examples of more empowering ways to talk to myself, corresponding to the examples above:
I’m not where I want to be in life; What can I focus on to begin to change that.
I can’t do 300lbs squats, but I can do 225lbs today and every workout add a little bit more
My emergency fund is non-existent, I can put away a few dollars today in it.
I’ve never stuck it out with anything before, but I know that once I create the perfect program for me, it’ll be effortless. I just need to keep working to do what works for me.
No one is obligated to support me, I need to support myself, I can do anything.
I might not have the best genetics, but I still have a huge say in how I feel, how I look and how I present myself to the world. What I do today really matters.
Can you see when you speak to yourself a bit kinder and give yourself the benefit of the doubt that you are more—not less—motivated to stay the course?
By showing yourself compassion with your words, you internalize a sense of why-not-me? You take something that feels impossible and make it attainable.
Try to catch yourself this week. When you do don't allow yourself to default to shaming yourself about it. That was the issue I started to find myself in.
What old, unquestioned words, thoughts, beliefs are you hanging on to? Maybe even unknowingly? All you need to do is have the awareness. Observe yourself.
When you find yourself doing the old disempowerment routine, find the alternative. Turn it around to self-compassion and kindness. The latter is way more motivating for long-term success.
I want to open an honest dialogue. Let me know what you think! What negative voice are you perpetuating that is simply not serving you? I'd love to know -- and also share with me your turnaround!
Track Of The Day - Set Your House - Akira The Don