Today I want to share some personal news with you. Just the idea of sharing it fills me with a jittery energy. On one hand, who even gives #AF about my personal life? And then on the other hand, Sweat Nation is a personal brand and many of you have been with the brand for the last 10 years and have watched it grow up with me.
What I know is that I want to honor your connection to Sweat Nation because we are a family. Many of you have asked me about this over the last year, and sometimes it's like im too busy living the story, and not telling it, yet.
I'm not as efficient as I should at sharing what's going on in my life in real time. You can trust that if I share something with you, I do so after examining how it may bring value to your life.
Of course I will always share plenty of the struggle because the way I see it, struggle is what creates the best version of yourself. We are all the same in this regard. So now, I am ready to share some news that I havent been sharing on social media as much as I could.
My Fiance, Maritza, and I are going to tie the know this summer.
Some of you in person Sweat Nation citizens know her really well—Wanderful Undertakings peeps know her more than you even know me. And some of you don’t know her at all and might ask, why am reading this? Lol. And if that’s the case, totally fine, you can stop reading right now because this email is not about fitness or nutrition, it’s a personal share from me, that is part of the relationships part of the Sweat Nation holistic triad.
After 6 years, Maritza and I have decided to take our adventure to the next level, as best friends and with mutual respect and love for one another. As many of you know, I am of the school of #livingthedream, which means taking 100% ownership of everything going on in my life. And it is no different here.
But I want to make a distinction.
To me, a “successful” relationship isn’t necessarily until-death-do-us-part.
I mean, that’s the intention and how great would it be to work out that way. But I do think it’s easy to go down the personal development/self-criticizing track and make it mean that everything needs to be fixed and worked on ad infinitum. Or that we are obligated to stick things out, even be a little bit of a martyr because we think, if we can just do enough work on ourselves, then we should be able to be fine with any scenario.
But what I have found is that in a relationship each partner needs to keep clear what they want their life to look like. As long as the visions converge it may end up as a till death do us part relationships, but in the event that the visions diverge, it's ok to be honest about it and with true love move from there.
Tenacity and resiliency are admirable, sometimes in the past it didn’t serve me to chose the default of just working harder on the status quo without actually questioning what I really wanted. Creating a practice where you keep what you want clear will help to keep you in the relationship you clearly want to be in.
A successful relationship whether it’s 11 days, 11 months or 11 years, or till death do you part is about showing up fully(good ad bad) with that person, growing with them, learning from them, teaching them, and getting all the lessons that you need, as an individual, from that relationship.
Jade has always been a mentor to me—in business, nutrition and training and personal development—but we built a solid relationship together by creating some amazing experiences, growing both of our companies into what they are today, and by impacting the lives of hundreds of thousands of others we would not have otherwise reached.
Maritza and I will always be soulmates. I don’t say that in a religious way or in a way that assumes there is one perfect person out there for anyone. “Soulmate” to me means teacher, or spiritual partner, someone who comes into my world to help me get the lessons that I need in the moment that I need them—the mirror held up to my face to show me where I have work to do. But also to help me experience deep love, joy, friendship and partnership. Our time together has helped me surmount some huge insecurities and feelings I've had about myself. And I couldn’t be more grateful.
Byron Katie says, “The person you live with is your greatest teacher.”
And I agree 100%.
Our best friends, our family members, our partners, spouses, siblings, children and lovers will always challenge us. They will push our buttons. In a way, on a spiritual level, I have to believe that’s even why we choose them.
What a huge gift because it means that we care enough about them to go through the fire with them. If we didn’t care, there would be no fight, no deep connection and no lessons. I am so grateful for all the warriors in my life. And I wouldn’t change this experience for anything.
And so …
I’d ask for you to do some deep diving yourself. Take a look at your world and really appreciate the great stuff, acknowledge the good stuff, and examine the not-so-awesome. Where are you loving life, and where are you not?
Be honest with yourself, and then be as honest with your loved ones as you possibly can. Probably the most important lesson I've learned over the last several years is that our honesty is a tremendous gift, no matter how tough or scary it can be.
And to me, the gift of your own introspection is everything
Thank you for being a part of Sweat Nation. For being here, for being open and for holding this space for me. I am so grateful that anyone even reads these long emails, ha! But either way, I appreciate you.
For info on our wedding on wheels go to www.WanderfulUndertakings.com
This life is amazing. Here's to your Wealth/Health
Track Of The Day - Broken Things - Dave Matthew's Band